Hi Cindy, thank you so much for being here today. You are such an incredible person and I can’t wait for you to share your story with us. To start with, tell us about yourself. How do you see yourself and what matters to you?
I'm Cindy (laughs). I think I want to start with how I think I am, instead of what we usually say like “I do this and that”, because we are human beings, not human doings.
I think I'm a compassionate, funny and genuine person. I find pleasure in doing small things in life and I am really enjoying life in general. I am always trying to find the silver lining in things. I enjoy nature, it is recharging. Like right now - we are doing an interview at the beach in a beautiful spot.
What are your strengths?
I’ve mentioned this already, but I think I'm compassionate. I love talking to people, listening to their stories. I am always trying to see the other person's point of view, even if it seems to be completely different. Because when you go deeper, you understand that we all have values and usually at least some of our values match. Because we all are humans, no matter what your point of view is, we all want connection, we all want to be happy, to be free. So this is something we should remind ourselves of when we're in a tough situation with people –compassion.
And also I think now I know myself better and I know what I want to put my energy in, so I don't waste my energy for things that are not worth it. But with the people that I do want to put my energy into, I think I'm really loyal and I do anything I can for them, because that's who I am and that what brings me joy.
I think if I had one goal in my life, if I want people to remember me in a certain way, I would love them to say I bring joy and light into their life. And I think I'm funny. A bit. (laughs)
What are your weaknesses?
I think I've been too harsh on myself. I have realised that we always spend the most time with ourselves and our inner voice is the voice that we hear the most. And I’ve realised, if my friend was talking to me the way I'm talking to myself, I would not hang out with them (laughs). They would just drag me down!
I'm about honesty, so I am not just going to be like “Oh, you're amazing“ when you're not, but at the same time I am trying to give myself the compassion I give other people. It's still a work in progress, but I think I get better. And also I've always been a perfectionist, mostly in my job but in my personal life too. I am trying not to be like that, because sometimes Better is the enemy of Good. And sometimes when all you want is perfection, you miss out on having something good. So I am working on this as well.
Do you have any insecurities? And if so, how do you overcome them?
I've had a lot of health issues, especially lately, so sometimes I do feel insecure because I can't do as much as I would like to do and as much as other people, but I can do a lot of things.
Sometimes I can get insecure because I feel that I am preventing other people from doing something, when I say “Oh, I can't go to that place” or “I can't do that hike” or something like this. But I'm working on this too, because I believe we are more than what we do, we are the essence of our being. People like to spend time with me not because I do something for them or do something with them. It’s a work in progress too.
Since you brought it up, you've been dealing with some health issues lately. Would you mind telling us a bit more about this and about how it has impacted your life?
To make a long story short, I had a car accident that impacted my spine in 2018. I had to go through surgery a year later, it was a long process of recovery. I couldn't walk, I couldn't sit for more than one minute. And before that I used to be really active, I was a dancer. My job was on a computer, so I couldn't do my job either. I couldn't do all the things I used to consider defining who I am.
And then I had another accident in 2021 - I had a concussion, and had to go through the recovery process again. Those accidents, I felt, stripped me down from what I think I was. My first accident took me from being active, being a dancer, and then my second accident stripped me down from being smart, doing many things that I used to do, cause with a concussion you can't do as much. This can put you down, you start thinking like “oh, I'm not the person I used to be”. But you have to embrace the feeling of grief for the person you were before and at the same time accept that you still are that person.
Your resilience and your positive attitude is really inspiring. What gives you strength?
It was beautiful to rediscover who I am. As I said before, it is not only what you do, but also who you are. And I am still the same: I'm still positive, I'm still funny, it’s just that I have to adjust my life a little. I still can't do some things I want, but there are many that I begin to do, step by step. So what gives me strength is that I still want to live my life, I still enjoy it. So instead of focusing on what I can't do I am trying to focus on what I can do, and I can do so much! I'm so grateful for it.
Many people go through a tough time and it is not about comparing “I'm better” or “I'm worse”, beating yourself down - we should try to bring each other love and light. And also sometimes it is important to accept that you are feeling down – that is also nice.
So yeah, what kept me going as well was trying to rediscover myself, and I’ve discovered a new side of me. I'm grateful for the accident because I’ve discovered new layers and new things I enjoy doing.
And another thing that kept me going was willing to dance again. I was laying down, not able to move much, trying to picture myself dancing, so my brain and my body know like “we're gonna get there, we’re gonna get there” (laughs).
Can you tell us a little bit about your background? Where are you from and how has it affected your journey?
I'm from France, but my father is from Tunisia, so I'm half French and half Tunisian. I grew up in a diverse culture with a lot of African people around me. I think that made me interested in people, interested in getting to know them and their stories.
We didn’t travel much with my parents when I was a kid, but when I got older and got a bit of money, I started travelling – it was something I really wanted to do. I love meeting new people, discovering new places. I think you grow a lot from listening to others. So I think growing up with such a diverse background helped me to become the person I am today, so it did impact me in a way, for sure.
What was the biggest challenge that you have faced in your life and how did you overcome it?
I do think it’s my health. Those big things I had to change - my routines, the way I see myself. And today, even though I'm still struggling with symptoms and I'm not out of the woods yet, I'm starting to see changes and I'm grateful for them. It brought a lot of pain and sorrow to me, but at the same time so much growth. You don't grow in your comfort zone; I had been pushed outside of mine and now I am just trying to make a home in a new place and I’m loving it.
What gives you strength to get through challenging times?
I try to focus on myself and try not to get distracted by the environment. I try to focus on what is the challenge itself rather than the narrative you build around it. Because it's not really the problem that impacts us, but what we tell ourselves about it.
I'm trying to focus on facts and to ground myself by listening to music, doing a bit of dancing, walking in nature to calm my mind. And then from there I can have an action plan. Because you can't make a plan when you're just all over the place. So I think trying to ground myself would be the first step, and then having some nice food, playing some music would be nice… (laughs)
What is the most important life lesson that you've learned so far?
We all are human. We are all trying to make the best that we can with what we have. And I think if people were more compassionate, we'd go a long way. With yourself as well: sometimes we look back and say “oh ,why did I do this?”. But you did the best you could at that time and with what you had at the moment. So yeah, we're just all trying to live and be human.
Beautiful… Do you have any advice that you would like to give your younger self?
Be your own best friend. Just enjoy your company. It's nice to be with people, but you also should enjoy spending time with yourself. Now I'm like “Oh damn, I'm funny. Oh, I'm good. I'm a good listener!”. Just be your own best friend, because you are the one who is going to have your back all your life.
Maybe you have any advice for you today?
Keep going. Keep going, you're on the way.
Who has been your biggest role model or source of your inspiration?
Many people. I'm grateful to have a circle of amazing people around me, and with time, no matter where you meet them, they all bring something important to you; it might be cliche but my mom is the greatest inspiration for me. She is strong and kind, and she always focuses on the positive so… I wish I can be like her when I grow up (laughs).
Do you have a quote that inspires you?
I’ve got quite a few, but I’ll say this: Take time for your wellness before your body forces you to make time for your illness.
What makes you happy?
Many things. Food (laughs). A good talk or laugh with a friend. And kindness!
I think quality time - being present in the moment. If I'm with a friend - I'm present, if I'm watching the sunset - I'm there. But if being more specific: dancing, music, going for walks in nature - nature is an amazing source of inspiration. I like going to the gym, taking photos, watching the stars.
I like those tiny bubbles that are called glimmers: when you are doing something random, you can be at the back of a car, for example, looking out of the window, and then you catch it and feel happy out of the blue. I like bathing in the sensation of gratitude - those are the best.
I was going to ask you about how you recharge, but…
Yeah, all the above. Also, with having to be doing less, I had to start meditation. I had to, as I thought it could help me. Now I absolutely love meditating, mindfulness, focusing on breathing. Breath is also something that I love, it helps me recharge and it is something that you always have with you – it’s always been there since the moment you were born. So I'm grateful for that. Those introspective moments help me recharge.
What are your beliefs and values that navigate your life?
I feel like I'm going in circles… but it’s compassion. Compassion towards others and yourself, on days when it's a bit harder; remembering that it is ok to feel a wide range of emotions.
And gratitude. I am trying to be grateful for all the little things in my life. And I think being present is also very important. It has helped me go through all the challenges and all the happy moments in my life.
Is there something you would like to implement in your life this year, something that you would like to do?
It is not really something new, but it's getting back into some things. Last year I was able to get back into a little bit of dancing and to see more people, so I want to do more of this. This year I really want to go back to the gym as well - for the way it makes me feel, not for the way I look. It used to be one of my happy places. I want to do it in a compassionate way, again: not expecting going back to where I was before, doing a two-hour workout five times a week. No, I'm going to start slowly, but 2024 is going to be the year I'm back in the gym. That's my goal.
Is there something that you look forward to in the near future?
Life! Everything, to be honest. I'm really excited about … everything: seeing what life has prepared for me and whatever new lessons I'm going to learn, new people I'm going to meet, connections I'm going to deepen – literally everything.
Do you have a motto in life?
Be yourself. To be yourself you need to know yourself. So I think it's an everyday journey, to know yourself. It is easy to say but what do I want? What do I need? So I'm trying to get closer and closer to myself every day.
This is beautiful. Thank you so much.